Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's Been Great....

Since I've made my blog public and shared my thoughts I've appreciated everyone who has taken their time to read and/or comment. Due to foreseen and unforeseen events and circumstances, for the foreseeable future I will not be posting any new posts. To those who follow me through blogger or have me in their google reader, please keep my link there as I might return one day.

You can catch me on tumblr though:

It's been real.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Fire Sale: Everything Must Go

There comes a point in all our lives (if you have any sense of feeling) where we become emotionally spent. Life is busy and full of challenges, sometimes it's easy to face them and sometimes they take their toll. These challenges can come from any and all directions but I want to focus on how relationships can drain us and the outcome of this is not always positive.

A lot of times when we are expended we just stop giving a fuck. At least I know that's how I can get sometimes. And that's where the title of my post comes in. If you're asking "What pray tell is a fire sale?", it is:

A fire sale is the sale of goods at extremely discounted prices, typically when the seller faces bankruptcy or impending distress.

Now bear with me for a second while I make the correlation between that definition and relationships. Now lets say "goods" are something you possess that under normal circumstances you would hold under high regard. This could be your emotional attachment or even your penis/vagina. Of course the "seller" would be you and "bankruptcy or impending distress" could be that no good dude who you found out slept with your sister, and cousin at the same time or it could be that chick that got ran through by the starting front court of the basketball team while she was in Miami on spring break. Either way that person caused you this emotional duress can cause you to act irrationally.

Speaking from personal experience (because clearly I don't know how women deal with this issue) it's easy for a man while trying to get over heartbreak to become emotionally unattainable and try to take down as many bodies as he can. Nothing reminds you that you are a man quite like having a new woman in your bed. Some may call it a rebound, but I implore any guy to not go this route. This really only provides temporary relief from the real issue at hand and prolongs the process of healing. Like so many things in life, it's important to let the pain flow through [||], instead of trying to numb it like a shot of novocaine.

There lies controversy over who deals with emotional hardship, men or women? The answer to that doesn't necessarily lie in the gender difference as much as who is left feeling like they were wronged. This person is usually the one feeling pained because they probably didn't desire for whatever happened to happen. It's supposed to hurt when you get your feelings damaged. You really don't have to explain it or justify it to anyone but yourself. Accept that you feel pain. Sit with it and explore it. Feel all your feelings. Grief, and that is what heart break is, is cyclic. This means it will come and it will go.

So how do you get over heartbreak or emotional distress? How do you deal with it? Who do you think has a harder time dealing with it, men or women?

***Sidenote: For my Meharry or Nashville readers, I've been asked to sit on a panel for a relationship forum next week (10/25/10). Come through and support Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., Miss School of Medicine and SNMA.***

***Sidenote (2): I finally remembered my login information for my tumblr account. If any of you have an account I need people to follow. Hit me up. Here's my url: ***

Monday, October 18, 2010

Guest Post- Textual Intercourse: Doo-Wops and Hooligans

I have another guest post over at Euphoric Ears. LaBakir and I engage in a conversation on Bruno Mars' Doo-Wops and Hooligans album. Check it out here.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Guest Post- Just The Way You Are

Today I have a guest post featured on my birthday twin, Max's blog. Click here to check it out and leave comments.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Birthday Month [recap]

It's October so that means that the #BirthdayMonth is officially over. It was great while it lasted and I had a ton of fun. I'm grateful for all my friends and family who helped me celebrate my 29th birthday.

My brothers left yesterday and while I was sad to see them leave (since I haven't been home in over a year) I was glad they took their vacation time to come down spend a week with me. Follow them on twitter, here and here. "There is no doubt that around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained." ~Winston Churchill

This past week was epic. Got my 4th tattoo (shout out to #oneofmyfollowers). Had lots of good food. Drinks were flowing. Partying was taken to a new level. There wasn't any shortage of fun.

I love my real friends. Thanks for making it a success.

Pics and videos coming soon: "29 bottles, 29 models"

Friday, October 1, 2010

What Men Really Want

**NSFW. Explicit language. Use headphones or turn your volume down if necessary**

This is a lighthearted Friday post. It may come off a little (or a lot) misogynist but that's ok. Women, I wouldn't really take any of this to heart. Matter of fact behind the jokes there are some truths to what these two dudes are saying. Well maybe not all the jokes but some of them. Either way I think it's hilarious.

Here's another one too (now this one I really agree with):

They have like 20 videos on youtube. Check them out at your leisure.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

It's My Motherphukin Birthday

Now usually I would write a reflective post about how I'm looking back on how I've grown over the past year and what I can do to better myself in the next year before I turn 30 but that's not gonna happen.

I praise God I was able to see another year.

My fam is here (2 brothers), I have great friends and I'm gonna party like a fucking rock-star this weekend. Now if you happen to run across me today through Sunday my behavior might be a little erratic. This is my pre-apology. lolol

Also, shout-out to my people who are also celebrating this momentous holiday. Max, Ricky (She's looking at my balls Rickaaay [inside joke]) and Aketa.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Game Show Wednesday-Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

*****Sorry about the missing post last week. You know I had to deal with life and I just didn't get around to writing a post. I'll make it up to you. Post today, tomorrow (national holiday) and Friday.*****

With that out the way, this week's post is Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

This is how the game works if you've been under a rock and never seen the show. A contestant is asked increasingly difficult general knowledge questions by Regis Feldman. Questions are multiple choice: four possible answers are given (labeled A, B, C and D), and the contestant must choose the correct one. There is no time limit to answer a question; a contestant may (and often does) take as long as they need to answer. By the way I hate when the contestant takes a long time. After the first few questions, the host will ask the contestant if that is their "final answer." Upon making the answer the final answer, it cannot be changed. On the first few questions, some choices often have joke answers. The complete sequence of prizes of the show is as follows:
  • $100
  • $200
  • $300
  • $500
  • $1,000
  • $2,000
  • $4,000
  • $8,000
  • $16,000
  • $32,000
  • $64,000
  • $125,000
  • $250,000
  • $500,000
  • $1,000,000

After viewing a question, the contestant can quit with the money he/she has already won rather than attempting an answer. If the contestant answers a question incorrectly, then they lose all the money they have won, except that the $1,000 and $32,000 prizes are guaranteed: if a player gets a question wrong above these levels, then he drops down only to the previous guaranteed prize. The game ends when the contestant answers a question incorrectly, decides not to answer a question, or answers all questions correctly.

I actually like this show because during the first couple of questions I feel like a genius. Like me taking 5th grade arithmetic right now. Then around the $32,000 questions I start to feel less and less intelligent. I always said that if I went on the show I would stop at $32,000. That's all I need right now. I'm a low risk kind of guy. Why leave with anything less than that? But then I know what would happen if I actually made it on the show. I would think to myself: "Self, think of all the things you could do with a million dollars.

Here's what I would do with a million dollars:

Pay 40% to the IRS (eff Uncle Sam)
Buy my mom a house
Put $100,000 into a Roth IRA
Invest in my future business

What would you do if you won a million dollars? Is a million what it used to be in today's economy? How would winning a large sum of money change your life?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Man of the House

Hey fellas. Yeah you right there. Let me let you in on a little secret. Well it’s not really a secret but some of you have chose to ignore this fact or you’re just plain ignorant to the obvious. Women like men who take the lead. You don’t believe me? Find the nearest [straight] woman and ask her if she would rather follow a man that is worthy of leading or would she rather make all the decisions. I guarantee you at least 9 times out of 10 her answer is going to be the former.

Now social media, entertainers and even credible news sources will have you believe that this is the age of the independent woman. It’s not hard to hear a song that idealizes the idea that women don’t need us to get what they want and get to where they want in life. The number one anthem is the Destiny’s Child track, Independent Woman. It seems like since this song was released the popular ideology is that women could do without men. This may seem daunting because who wants to be with a woman who thinks she doesn’t need you. The problem with this way of thinking is it’s entirely ass backwards. Regardless of what anyone says or feels men were made to lead and women were made to follow. Based on that last statement I guarantee there are some women that are going to read this and think to themselves; “I’m not following anyone, I’m my own woman (or some variation of that).” Well those women are ass backwards too. They’ve been conditioned to think the role of a man is diminished in their lives. I could get into the reasons for this but that would be another blog post (or 6) in itself, so instead let’s discuss why we should be trying to get back our status as head of the household.

Being a leader is not an easy job. It takes a lot of work. People depend on you. Often times you don’t get enough credit (look at how many restaurants are packed on Mother’s Day versus Father’s Day) and when things go array everyone always looks to the person in charge. To lead is to take on great responsibility. Perhaps that is why so many of us shy away from the task. A lot of us want a lot of the benefits (big piece of the chicken) of being the head of the household but little of the work and accountability. A lot of trust has to be conveyed in order for a woman to submit to a man and follow his lead. In the end she has to know that you can handle your business in times of distress just as well as in times of prosperity. If you haven’t proved that you can handle the small things why would she trust you to handle the big things?

I don’t know how many of you are Christians but I am. If you don’t want to hear or read bible verses then you can skip to the next section. I believe that the bible is a blueprint to our lives. You follow it; maybe not a T but you use it as a guide in your everyday life on your spiritual walk with God. With that being said God intended man to lead. In Ephesians 5: 22-23 the word says:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word...

This right here is the truth. Not only does it say that a woman must submit to her husband but the husband in turn should love his wife in the same way that Christ loved the church. Imagine how much Christ loved the church. A lot right? Almost incomprehensible. In order for a man to expect a woman to submit to him he must first submit to God. In this way when a woman submits to her husband, she is indeed submitting to God. If a man does not have God first in his life then how can he honestly expect anyone to follow him? The chain of command is broken and unordered. Growing up I remember every Sunday morning my father was the first one up getting the family ready for Sunday morning service. It didn’t matter if he was only working off of a couple of hours of sleep because he worked nights. We were in church; rain or shine almost every Sunday.

I know what a lot of you are thinking, “What does he know about anything? He’s not even married or engaged.” If that’s what you were thinking then you are absolutely correct. I’ve never been married or anything close to it. Now here’s my rebuttal. Let’s say you wanted to go to medical school. Would you show up to take the MCAT the day of the test with no preparation or would you take prep courses, study the materials and prepare yourself the best way you can so you can get the scores you want the first time around? The latter is my mind frame towards marriage. I look at the relationship my grandparents had and I take things from that. I also look at the relationship my parents had and know what I don’t want in a marriage. I’m working on becoming the best individual possible so that I can be the best leader that I can be. I’m trying to get it right the first time around.

Believe it or not, Fantasia is the inspiration behind this post. Not what’s happening on in her personal life because I could really care less about that. Her music is my inspiration. There is a track on her new album entitled, Man of the House, which really got me thinking. This line was the one that suck out to me the most because I just couldn’t imagine taking a backseat and letting a woman lead me.

“I’m sick and tired of being the boss for us; this ain’t the kind of love it’s supposed to be. You wanna king of the castle, you wanna be captain; you’re gonna have to work a little bit harder for that to happen.”

Monday, September 13, 2010

Game Show Wednesday-Family Feud

This week I'm going to discuss a show that I loved watching growing up. Actually I still love watching this show. Family Feud was the first computer game that I owned. This was before Window'95, back when I was still running MS-DOS. If you don't remember MS-DOS then you might be too young to be reading my blog. I had a book of command prompts. That shit was more complicated than memorizing HTML command prompts.

Getting back on tangent, I always wanted my family to go on Family Feud. The only problem was I didn't grow up in the type of household that would EVER be invited on that type of show. Sure I grew up in a two parent household with 5 children but I think we would have been more suited competing against each other than we were competing against other families. As a tribute to my family, this post will be dedicated to functioning dysfunctional families.

What is a functional dysfunctional family? Glad you asked.

Functional dysfunctional family- a family which maintains status quo and existing conditions despite conflict, misbehavior and often abuse on the part of individual members of the family leading other members of the family to accommodate such actions.

First let me give you a little background on my family. My parents have 5 children between the two of them. I am the second to oldest child. I have an older sister who is 8 1/2 years my senior. I have two younger brothers (twins) who are 20 months my junior and my youngest brother is 9 years my junior.

One of my favorite sayings growing up was "you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family". I found it a lot better than my dad's favorite saying was to me and my brothers, "blood is thicker than water". I'm a first generation American. Both of my parents were born and raised in Nigeria. We were raised with Nigerian values and cultures. That being said my father believed that since I had 3 brothers that's all the friends that I needed.

Looking back at my childhood I really don't regret anything about it but what are some signs of a functional dysfunctional family.

Family Secrets & Problems

Like most Black and African households keeping family business within the family was always stressed. No matter how bad things got at home it was understood that we were to never talk to anyone outside of the family about our issues. It was looked upon as betrayal. What happens when you keep so many secrets and you can't find anyone to talk to about it? Depression and resentment that's what.

Petty Behaviors by Parents

Parents are humans too. Humans can be petty. A lot of times the adult doesn't always act like an adult. Often times children can take on the role of the adult. My mom and my sister haven't spoken to or seen each other in close to 5 years. You would think as the only two women in my immediate family they would put whatever differences they have/had aside but they are too much alike. Both of them are extremely stubborn and prideful. I learned early on that the concept "Do as I say, not as I do" is a load of sh*t.

Questionable Behavior Outside of Marriage

"My parents have 5 children between the two of them."

I wrote this earlier in this post. The reason is because I'm about 98.6% that I have a another sister that's maybe a couple months older than me. My mom pointed her out to me at PG Plaza when I was about 5 or 6 years old. Children are like sponges. They remember so much more than we give them credit for. At this point in my life I have enough siblings that I'm not that interested in getting to know more. I often times do wonder what it would be like to grow up in a household with a sister around my age.

Growing up in any of the aforementioned enviornments can be emotional destructive if not dealt with. It is especially hard for a child to know if they should love or hate their parents. They still love their parents but they hate the pain their parent's issues have caused them. Some children will develop the attitude that their parent's issues have nothing to do with them so they will love their parents regardless (this is my case). However, that attitude is another symptom of a dysfunctional environment. This does not mean that you won't be able to live a healthy life nor does it mean that you or any family members are dysfunctional. What it does mean is the elements that make up the family unit are dysfunctional.

So the question becomes how can one overcome growing up in functional dysfunctional household?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Game Show Wednesday-Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

The next game show that I wanted delve further into is “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader”.

Each game is played by a single contestant (an adult) who earns money incrementally based on a payout ladder by answering simple trivia questions, with the game themed as a school quiz. Each question is associated with a grade level; there are two questions per grade, from first to fifth. The game relies on the premise that an adult would not know the information generally taught in elementary grade school, because it is rarely used in adult life by the type of person chosen to be a contestant. Therefore, the show is essentially a test to see how much an adult has retained since graduating elementary school.

Based on this show I think there are not only facts but life lessons that you acquired in elementary school that a lot of people have lost over their transition into adulthood. Let's examine some of these life lessons.

Sharing is Caring

If you look at a group of elementary school children it's amazing how simple things can go if scissors and crayons are shared. If your friend doesn't have enough glue why not use let them have some of yours? Sharing is indeed caring. Some people either never learned to share or completely forgot the concept as they got older. We have adults who don't know how to share anything. Some people wouldn't share a morsel of their food with a starving toddler from Ethiopia. My parents had 5 children (4 of them boys) so sharing was essential in my house hold. This is something that I still have not forgotten.

Don't take things that aren't yours

This is a kind way of saying "don't steal". Stealing is wrong on so many levels. I remember that one time I was in grade school and I got caught trying to steal a pack of Fruit Stripe gum. I got in so much trouble. Looking back on the situation, it wasn’t even worth it. I should have stolen a pack of Wrigley’s. Fruit Stripe gum loses it’s flavor in like 12 seconds.

A couple month’s ago I was in the mall and I had to use the bathroom. These two Latino teenagers were in the bathroom talking. As I was relieving myself I noticed one teenager putting an earring in his ear. The reason I knew this was because the other teenager complimented him on the size of the cubic zirconium. o_0 Not 15 seconds after the mall cop came in the bathroom and apprehended the teenager with the earring for stealing it from Macy’s. Crime pays until you get caught. Nothing is cool about being walked through a mall in handcuffs over some $15 earrings.

With that said I daydream often about being a caper like the Italian Job, Oceans 11-13 or The Inside Man Takers and knocking over a bank or casino. Now that is cool. Not realistic but cool nonetheless.

Don’t be a bully

I really despise bullies. No matter what age, they just bother me. Perhaps it was because I was bullied in grade school until I picked the biggest one out the bunch and knocked him out. They stopped picking on me after that day, which is what I expected. Bullies are really cowards.

As children it’s hard to decipher if you are being a bully or not. Often, actions start out just being fun, but may at some point actually turn into bullying. I was taught that if you are not sure whether something can be classified bullying, stop and think and ask yourself these questions:

~Are my actions or words hurting someone else's feelings?

~Are my actions or words hurting someone else physically or making that person feel afraid?

~Would I want someone else to do this to me?

~Am I unfairly taking my anger out on someone?

~Am I trying to control someone against his or her will?

Based on these questions I know quite a few bullies that are adults. This is a shame. There are bullies in the workplace, in college, hell there are twitter bullies. I still feel the same way about these types of people. Cowards. All of them. You worry you are inferior in some sort of way so you try to draw attention away from you and place it on you so your shortcomings won’t come to light.

Do you know any selfish people? Thieves? Bullies? Are there anymore life skills/lessons that you think people have forgotten or never learned?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Game Show Wednesday-Change of Heart

Dish Network Ch. 116. My TV stays there.

Last week I was thinking about something new and refreshing to add to my site and then I came up with the bright idea to start a blog series. Since I love games (ask about me on the spades table or with dice and cee-lo) and I love tv, I thought what better subject than game shows. I know what you're thinking, "Why would I want to read about game shows?". Glad you asked. Life is one big game anyway. Jayceon Taylor. So as I explore some of my favorite game shows past and present, I'll try to tie it in to real life.

First up is a show you may or may not have heard of depending on how much television you watch you might remember this dating show. The show for this week is Change of Heart. I found it mildly entertaining that a couple would agree to go on a date with other singles because they were having trouble in their current relationship. The culmination of the show is when each person in the relationship decides if they want to "stay together" or have a "change of heart". The sad part is even after all the trouble the relationship may be in, after testing the waters and seeing how green the other side of the fence is and having all your dirty laundry aired on television, one person wants to try to work things out and the other person doesn't.

I mean how bad do you have to feel after this:

Believe it or not this happens all the time in relationships. Maybe not on national television but nonetheless it happens often. Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Things turn sour. Someone doesn't want to work at it. Someone does. Feelings are hurt. There are no bad guys in situations like this. There are no winners. There are no losers. Just circumstances, bruised egos and feelings.

When a relationship has run it's course it's not easy to end things. Some relationships last a lifetime and some only a season. No one wants to end a relationship when the sex may be good or everyone but you can see "how good they are for you." The life of a relationship depends on the partners in the relationship. If one wants it and the other doesn't, then it really can't be a relationship right?

I've been in relationships where I've held on knowing that my feelings have changed but I didn't want to seem like the bad guy for ending what seemed like on paper a great thing. I just went along with the flow and hoped that my feelings would change. You know what happens when you do that? Resent. You start to resent the person that you are with. Little fights become heated arguments. You nitpick at things that normally you wouldn't be concerned with. Eventually things come to a head and the situation ends in a less than desired manner.

How do you really come out and say that you really don't want to be with a person anymore? What if it's someone you still have feelings for? How have you ended things with a significant other? Would you go on a show like Change of Heart? Talk to me.

Monday, August 23, 2010

If I Ruled the World

As I'm sitting in lab waiting for the western blot to finish incubating I thought I'd write a blog post. Then I had a brain fart. I scrolled through my blackberry to find my list of blog topics. I decided I didn't want to write about any of my ideas yet. They are too personal and the timing of the posts would lack couth. Instead I set my iTunes to shuffle and the first song that came on was from one of my favorite rappers: Nasir din Olu Dara Jones aka Nasty Nas aka Nas. The song in particular is 'If I Ruled The World'. This song is just as powerful and inspirational as it was in 1996. Lauryn Hill lays down her voice for the hook that makes the song that much more great. By the way when is Lauryn Hill going to come out with another album? I'm thinking summer of 2011.

Listening to this song go me to thinking. How would things be if I ruled the world? Let's see.

1. There would be no homeless people and poverty would cease to exist. This summer I've seen an exponential increase in homeless people. They stand on the side of the road selling those homeless newspapers and I just feel for them. Last Friday as I was driving home from the YMCA at about 7am I saw a homeless man with dirty locks standing on the corner wearing a silk bathrobe staring directly into the rising sun. I thought to myself what hardships and circumstances allowed him to get to the point where he was. If you think being poor and homeless sucks in America think how bad it must be in third world countries. Yep this would be the first thing I changed if I ruled the world.

2. There would be no cancer, AIDS or disease period. I'm in school for biomedical research and I know how cancer in particular effects lives, particularly people who look like me. I couldn't imagine my own body turning on me and killing me. Cancer doesn't discriminate. From children (leukemia and retinoblastoma) to young adults (breast and testicular cancer) to older people (prostate and colon cancer). Sure if the world were free from disease there would over crowding because people would live longer but I think that would be a problem I would deal with when I got to that bridge.

3. I'd do away with politics. Pol(i)y is used as prefix meaning more than one or many. Ticks are ectoparasites (external parasites) that live by hematophagy on the blood of mammals. Put the two together and you have politics. Many blood disgusting creatures feeding on the life force of other creatures. I seriously can't stand politicians. It's all about hypocrisy (another thing I don't like) and lies.

4. No more war. I support our troops and all but I don't like war. In middle and high school I was a history buff and I could never understand the point of it. The Hundred Years War. Really a war that spanned a hundred years? o_0 Imagine the death toll in that conflict. War of 1812. Britain really wanted to test our gangsta after we mopped them up in the Independence War (with France's help of course). What year was that war fought in again? Vietnam was probably responsible for more heroin users than any other single event. This Iraq debacle? WMD's my ass. Has anyone seen the movie The Green Zone with Matt Damon?

Those are a few things I would change for the good of all if I ruled the world. Now what would I change for my own personal gains or selfish ambitions.

5. OJ da Juiceman, Plies, Rocko and Ace Hood wouldn't be able to make anymore music. I know I listen to Gucci Mane and Yo Gotti tough but this isn't about them nor does this have to make any sense. I don't like those rappers and my ears bleed every time I hear their songs.

6. I'd be able to marry two women at the same time and they'd both be cool with wanting to please me (and each other). The two women: Gabrielle Union and Keri Hilson.

7. The Wire, Lost, Heroes, Seinfeld, What About Brian and Martin would have never gone off the air. I'm a tv junkie. I love good programing. It seems these days all you see is reality tv. How hard is it to make reality tv? VH1 can have 9 shows running concurrently. I miss the days of good writing on shows. I need to set my DVR to record Boardwalk Empire. September 19th. HBO.

8. Jesus sandals, capris, black lipstick, weaves (especially quick weaves) and unkempt eyebrows on women would be outlawed. Why? because I don't like any of these things.

***on the flip side***

9. Women would get tax breaks for rocking heels, pencil skirts, summer dresses, glasses and having tattoos. I love all these things on women (who I deem attractive) so a reward for making the world a better place you get tax credits.

I think that about sums up how the world would change if I were it's ruler. Now I need to work on making this dream a reality. What about you? What would change if you ruled the world?

How many of you heard the remake of "If I Ruled the World '09" featuring Marsha Ambrosious?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

8 years and counting

The Beginning. Crossing night on the steps of
Thirkield Hall, Howard Univ. August 18, 2002

Today marks 8 years since I crossed into the greatest fraternity known to man, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. In that time I've made some great friends and some friends that I now consider family. It's no wonder that the motto of my fraternity is "Friendship is Essential to the Soul." When I moved to Nashville in 2004, I knew one person and I didn't have a car. If you know anything about Nashville, you know you need a car. All I needed was to meet one bruh and then I was introduced to more and more bruhs. Since I'm the "good bruhs" it was easy to adapt to my surroundings and be accepted with open arms.

60th chapter anniversary with Russell Stansbury.
Last living charter member.

This day is bittersweet though. I actually wish I was home being as I haven't celebrated an anniversary with my line brothers since our first one. I've spent everyone of them since then here. Those 6 guys I love like my real brothers. Some of them I was close friends with before we were frat brothers and we will always be friends. This weekend is our chapter is celebrating 63 years (May 3, 1947) and I would love to go home and celebrate with them and the rest of my chapter but alas I have to be responsible and stay on this grind in trying to get out of school.

At my ace's wedding reception with my dean.

If you are in the DMV area this weekend and want to have a good time, check out my chapter cookout. Details can be found at Also, if you want to donate to our scholarship fund the information is there too. The scholarship is named after Russell Stansbury, who is our last surviving charter member. He crossed in SP'47.

I don't know how many times I've done this since I've crossed.

Our first party with our Dean and ADP.

Happy Anniversary SP'02 πE Kiyama


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Random Musings

1. I think I'm ready to blow my school up. They are messing with people's lives. At this point who knows how long my job will be available. If they take this offer off the table, someone is going to have to answer some serious questions. When I defend my thesis, right after my thank you and acknowledgement slide I'm going to have a grievances slide. I'm not holding any punches. Anyone can get it [] from the President to the Dean to fellow students.

2. I went to the Kevin Hart show this past weekend and had a good time. Show was hilarious. I wish there were more things to do in Nashville on a more consistent basis. This city doesn't really cater to young black professionals. Every venue that is halfway decent turns hood within two months of opening which can get daunting. I need to move back to a more cultured city.

3. I'm a television fanatic. Now that Lost and Heroes are off the air and Steve Carrell is leaving The Office I'm not really looking forward to the fall line up of television shows. The only shows (non reality tv) that I look forward to watching now every week are True Blood and Lie to Me. I am interested in watching this new show Boardwalk Empire. It seems like it might be a mix between the Wire and The Goodfellas. September 19th, HBO.

4. I've decided to step back and re-evaluate all the relationships in my life. This includes ALL relationships. It may be time to purge certain individuals from my existence. If you fall into this category don't take it too personal. It's me not you.

5. I think it's hilarious how certain rappers can try to stretch certain words to try to get them to rhyme. For instance there is no way that Pinocchio should rhyme with truth. With that in mind, I'm feeling three songs this week. Here they are:

6. I was on facebook a couple of days ago and it's interesting the things you find out about people's lives without even trying. I'm now privy to the fact that my ex-girlfriend is not pregnant with her second child and is engaged. She looks happy. I'm happy for her. When you find out information like that your mind can only help but to go one of two directions.

7. One of my closest friends told me that I've gone back to being mean-spirited. When I first got to undergrad I was an introvert and I didn't trust or like many people. It wasn't until my later years of college that I became more outgoing and friendly. Now I don't know if I would disagree with my friend. I think I just need to try harder to get back to being more friendly.

***edited to add*** Today is my six's (and my front) birthday. Happy birthday Kennedy. Also tonight at 2:01am EST marks 8 years in the great world of Omega. Yes, we went into our last night on my LB's birthday. Sucked for him.

That's what's been on my mind lately. What have you been thinking about?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pursuit of Happiness

"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?" ~Pursuit of Happyness

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Keonig

that is all.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Vagina Is For Lovers

This post may come off a little misogynist but bare with me for just this one post.

This weekend I had a cookout at my house and invited some friends over because I like my friends and I like to grill. A couple of my friends and I were sitting on the front porch. At this point it was just the fellas on the porch. As some attractive ladies walked up the sidewalk and into the house one of my friends (white t-shirt) said, "Women are God's greatest gift to man." Most of the guys on the porch agreed. Not my friend (we'll call him) Brian. He proceeded to say this:

Now I'm not going to say that I agree with his sentiments but I damn sure thought it was funny. Then I began to wonder. If it was really possible to just have a p*ssy how many guys would take that and leave behind the overall woman. I'm not talking about buying a love tunnel off I'm talking about having a bona fide p*ssy for your enjoyment and pleasure whenever you wanted. As a man that I could see how that would be enticing. You don't have go through all the headaches and hassles that sometimes come with dating especially if it's just an means to an end.

Personally even though dating does come with a lot of hassle there are a lot of upsides to a woman besides her lady parts. Even though p*ssy feels good [relative] and even tastes good [relative once again] it really can't keep me warm at night. Well not all of me. It can't hold a conversation with me. It can't rub my back or cook me dinner. I need a whole woman. Not just a part of one.

I mentioned the subject of this post to Reecie and she mentioned that I should include this song in the post. Funny thing I listened to this song like 4 times in a row this past Friday. I love the metaphors used on the track especially J. Cole's verse.

*****Shout out to the bruhs Marquis for editing the video for me.*****

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I'm back

I'm back (no T.I.). Haven't blogged in a minute. I was actually thinking about shutting my blog down. As I've always stated I don't blog about my personal life as too many people know me in real life that read my site. I guess my multiple disclaimers didn't translate too well with some of my readers. On the flip side I don't like being told to write a certain way or what I should and shouldn't write on. The subject matter of which I decide to write on is my choice seeing as how I'm the only writer for this blog and the subject matter is a direct correlation of my view point.

I would like to thank #oneofmyfollowers for encouraging me to not stop writing. I write because I enjoy writing. It's my release. She suggested that I just take a break but don't let other people dictate what I like to do.

With that said, I'm back!

I'll probably start regularly blogging again next week. I have some topics that I really want to write about but I can't remember most of them since I got locked out of my blackberry and lost a lot of information that I had saved on it. I copped one of these the other day:

I'm also thinking about doing some video blogs. Maybe I'll make it into a weekly series. Tunde Confessions or something like that. I have some hilarious friends and I rarely have dull moments so I plan documenting a few things. **If you see me around with a camera, don't fret, I won't post footage of you without your consent [maybe]** Oh yeah and the camera is waterproof so I foresee a lot of poolside foolery going on as well. If you have any ideas about subject matter on which you would like to see me touch, hit me up.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Freaky Friday- Come [Cum] Inside Me

With the amount of rain and thunderstorms that have passed through Nashville this weekend coupled with the fact that I haven't even had a sniffle of yssup since [insert reference to whatever you think a long time is], I felt that I should do a freaky Friday post. The sound of rain beating against my window pane makes me want to beat against that pain till I hear the sound of rain. Alas, I'm not getting any anytime soon until Conclave next weekend so for now I have the sweet voice Minnie Ripperton yodeling sweet nothings in my ear.

Inside My Love has to be one my favorite songs ever. You can take this song to mean different things depending on your mind frame. Being as though I'm a deviant, I see it from that point of view. Here's my take on the song. Minnie sings of two strangers meeting yet they have this connection. Even though the song was released in 1975 during the era of free love, this song clearly speaks on those ideals. Meeting a stranger and having sex and even letting them cum inside you would not go over so well as a song today. Here are some excerpts from the song.

Two people, just meeting
Barely touching each other
Two spirits greeting
Trying to carry it further
You are one and I am another
We should be one inside each other

You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?

I find this song very sexy. A few artists have remade this song over the years. One notable person is Trina Brousssard. This track is on the Love Jones soundtrack [shoutout to #oneofmyfollowers for mailing me the DVD ;-)]. Chante Moore also remade the song but no one did it better than Minnie Ripperton.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


My name is Tunde and I curse. Like a sailor even.

Do I see this as a problem? Not hardly. In fact I only believe there is one real curse word. *shrug* I'm taking it you can guess what that curse what is. No. Well it's "fuck". See told you I like to curse. Where was I? Oh yeah, those other pseudo curse words don't count in my book.

curse (v)- to use profanely insolent language against.

I mean it's not like I curse uncontrollably. I don't curse in professional environments. I don't curse around my mother. I don't think I've ever cursed in front of my mother. I try not to curse around my father. I guess cursing is a part of my vernacular just like any other slang word is to my regional dialect. For instance, being from the DC Metro area, I say the word "young" a lot. Sometimes subconsciously. When I first moved to Nashville I had a couple of people ask me what "young" meant. I just shrugged them off because honestly it's one of those things that if you don't know then you just don't know. I've noticed when I'm talking to my mentor or any of my professors the word "young" would never leave my lips.

About a month or so ago one of my facebook friends had an update about the Lakers winning the championship. Being the ultimate Laker hater that I am, I responded with "Na Son". After some back and forth I simply replied, "f*#@ kobe". Now at the time I really didn't see anything wrong with what I wrote. I mean I thought I censored myself well enough. It wasn't until she replied "I would like to keep my wall G-rated. Thank you.", did I realize that even though I censored myself that the intention was still there. I guess I could have wrote something like "forget kobe" or something similar but I don't think it would have had the same effect.

Perhaps I should think about how my language affects others. Perhaps I shouldn't.

Do you guys curse regularly? Do you get offended when people curse in your presence? C'mon tell me how the fuck you feel. lolol

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


This girl was no good for me
she had so many secrets, secrets..yeah
Even though she wasn't my main girl
I was still committed, it was me and you
you said you wouldn't tell
but you saved my voicemails
but I always knew

So now cry 'till you drown your face
and bitch I give a damn how harsh this may seem
I'm here to put your heart in its place
chained up at the bottom of the lake
Now let the waterfall abyss.

The Dream, Abyss

The other day my boo wrote this blog post on her review of The Dream's Love King album. I know quite a few people that aren't fans of the album but I am. I'm actually a fan of his entire catalog. Dude knows how to make hits. Back to the topic at hand, my favorite track off of the album is Abyss. As we were discussing my favorite song she said, "it scares me that that's your favorite song." I think that what she failed to realize is the extent of male psyche when it comes to matters of the heart.

What most don't know is that men can be as emotional as women. The difference is how we display these emotions. In most cases when a woman breaks a man's heart they only know of the phase when men become closed off emotionally and try to get over their pain by hurting as many other women as possible. Before this stage there is definitely the fuck you stage. What's the fuck you stage? The fuck you stage is right before emotional disconnect and right after capriciousness. This stage allows men express their emotions through anger. Anger is just like any other emotion. The only thing is that anger can actually help us to realize that we are masking our feelings of another nature, such as anxiety, hurt or frustration.

I've definitely had feelings that come with the fuck you stage. It's more than hurt. It's anger. A lot of men won't admit that they let a women get to them in such a way. I've been hurt that way once. Will it happen again? I don't know but back to the song. My favorite part of the song is: "So now cry 'till you drown your face and bitch I give a damn how harsh this may seem." I think it might be the extra emphasis on the word bitch. I don't make it a habit of calling women bitches but sometimes the word just fits ( if you are offended then remain offended).

It would be nice if I could get more guys to comment on this post. Question time. Fellas have you ever been to the point where you felt like you were in the fuck you stage? Women have you ever done this to a guy? You can be honest. How did you handle the situation?

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Highlight Reel

The highlight reel.

I'm not talking about tuning into Sports Center during the last 10 minutes of each hour to catch the top 10 plays of the day or even logging into youtube to watch career highlight plays by Deion Sanders. What I'm speaking about here is the sex highlight reel.

Sex highlight reel- A sexual experience so fantastic that you find yourself replaying the events in your mind months and even years later. This mental rolodex of sexual feats can be summoned for a number of reasons, which I won't get into here.

I've been familiar with the idea of the sex highlight reel for some time now but i never really knew what to call it until I saw Couple's Retreat. This movie details the specifics of the highlight reel. They go further to say that when you are having sex with a person and the experience is less than stellar, you can close your eyes and fall back on the highlight reel. The question put forth is that in a sense cheating?

Based on the 49 people that I've slept with in my life I have a highlight reel but it really isn't that extensive.[1] It would have to be a pretty big ego boost to know that you are in someone's highlight reel. To have that much of a lasting effect on someone has to mean that you are pretty incredible. That being said I'm pretty sure I'm in a couple of top 10 plays on a couple of highlight reels. #onmycockyshit

[1]- I hope you wouldn't think I would actually list my body count. lololol

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Perfect Decision

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind. ~ Author Unknown

****Before I begin let me make the disclaimer that this has nothing to do with me. Shame that I still have to make disclaimers but it's whatever. Guarantee I'll still get inquires as to whom I'm talking about. ****

Last week I was listening to Vivian Green's sophomore album titled Vivian. The lyrics to the song Perfect Decision has been stuck in my head ever since. The thing I love about Vivian is her strong voice and powerful lyrics. As you can tell by the quoted (below) she sings about things that I'm sure we've all been through.

The skin against my skin
I'm begging to resist
I want to scream for more
I want to run out the door
The skin against my skin
The skin of my best friend
We never even kissed
So how'd we get to this?
He loves me oh so much
But he never shared his touch
As natural as it feels
I don't want it to kill
Something so flawless
That we both cherish
And as bad as I need it
We could ruin something so perfect

This is a dangerous, volatile situation. Falling for someone who is your friend is a dangerous, slippery slope. Going down that path with someone who knows certain things about you, who knows intimate details about you can seem like a good idea.

You become good friends with a person and you hang out with them all the time then gradually you realize that you are falling for them. What do you do? How do you handle these feelings for a friend? Will it ruin the friendship?

First, this is a common situation. Many, many friends become closer and closer and then start thinking about dating. It's only natural. There are hundreds of movies about this situation. These movies sometimes turn out to have fairy tale endings or not so happy endings. It's the ideal way to start a relationship, because all relationships should be based on trust, honesty and communication. These are traits that friends have built in. An ideal relationship is between best friends who love each other. Key word being ideal.

The one question that has to be asked, is what happens when the relationship doesn't pan out? What happens to the friendship that was so valued? These are questions that Vivian also asked herself.

What if we want more from each other?
What if we become only part-time lovers?
What if our drama-free friendship suffers?
What if everything we've built get lost under the covers?
Will I think it's the same the way you scream out my name
Thought it would ever come to this
Who'd thought I'd like your touch, your kiss
I don't wanna miss this opportunity, maybe we're suppose to be
Stop askin questions, and guessing and keep it going

Have you ever taken a friendship to the next level? How did it work out for you? Do you think it's a good idea to risk a friendship for moments of passion or even a relationship?