Sunday, August 29, 2010

Game Show Wednesday-Change of Heart

Dish Network Ch. 116. My TV stays there.

Last week I was thinking about something new and refreshing to add to my site and then I came up with the bright idea to start a blog series. Since I love games (ask about me on the spades table or with dice and cee-lo) and I love tv, I thought what better subject than game shows. I know what you're thinking, "Why would I want to read about game shows?". Glad you asked. Life is one big game anyway. Jayceon Taylor. So as I explore some of my favorite game shows past and present, I'll try to tie it in to real life.

First up is a show you may or may not have heard of depending on how much television you watch you might remember this dating show. The show for this week is Change of Heart. I found it mildly entertaining that a couple would agree to go on a date with other singles because they were having trouble in their current relationship. The culmination of the show is when each person in the relationship decides if they want to "stay together" or have a "change of heart". The sad part is even after all the trouble the relationship may be in, after testing the waters and seeing how green the other side of the fence is and having all your dirty laundry aired on television, one person wants to try to work things out and the other person doesn't.

I mean how bad do you have to feel after this:

Believe it or not this happens all the time in relationships. Maybe not on national television but nonetheless it happens often. Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Things turn sour. Someone doesn't want to work at it. Someone does. Feelings are hurt. There are no bad guys in situations like this. There are no winners. There are no losers. Just circumstances, bruised egos and feelings.

When a relationship has run it's course it's not easy to end things. Some relationships last a lifetime and some only a season. No one wants to end a relationship when the sex may be good or everyone but you can see "how good they are for you." The life of a relationship depends on the partners in the relationship. If one wants it and the other doesn't, then it really can't be a relationship right?

I've been in relationships where I've held on knowing that my feelings have changed but I didn't want to seem like the bad guy for ending what seemed like on paper a great thing. I just went along with the flow and hoped that my feelings would change. You know what happens when you do that? Resent. You start to resent the person that you are with. Little fights become heated arguments. You nitpick at things that normally you wouldn't be concerned with. Eventually things come to a head and the situation ends in a less than desired manner.

How do you really come out and say that you really don't want to be with a person anymore? What if it's someone you still have feelings for? How have you ended things with a significant other? Would you go on a show like Change of Heart? Talk to me.


MsEsquire77 said...

1) I think I'm going to love this new series. Great idea!

2) I've seen the show and hated it. It just seemed messy and insincere to me. Besides I always felt that there needed to be a 6-month follow-up to see how the couples were doing.

3)Breaking up is hard but it needs to be done before things turn ugly. It also needs to be polite but firm. No one wants to hurt people's feelings but it's much more hurtful to stay in a relationship for months and years beyond its expiration date.

max said...

I hate that show. Then again, I hate almost all dating shows on television so that's nothing new.

I've always been bad at ending things; I'm the type to hang on until I literally cannot take any more. My thing though is that if I decide to stay in a less-than-ideal situation, I work at it and I don't allow resentment to settle in. I think if that's happening then you're just going through the motions and your head's not in it so you might as well get out.

Tunde said...

funny how both of y'all hated the show. i thought it was comical.

@MsEsquire77: thanks much. i think especially for guys, they don't want to see a woman cry or know that he's caused her pain. *shrug*

@max: how can you not have resentment? perhaps you're the one in the relationship that's holding on and your s/o was the one who was trying to get out? **thinking about my relationships too** hmmm

N.I.A. naturally... said...

Its hard to tell someone that you just don't want to be with them anymore, especially if the reason is some intangible "this just isn't working for me" type of thing. If the other person is acting up in any kind of way, then you have an easier out. Usually, when you have to break things off with an SO you're still attracted to, its because the break will be the best thing for you and your well-being. The attraction is still there, but that person isn't good for you. I've been there, and had to bounce. it was the best decision I ever made.

No, I would never go on Change of Heart. That show is ridiculous, I didn't even know it still came on.

Streetz said...

Change of Heart was my sh*t

When you're done you just have to keep it real. Dont be harsh but dont beat around le bush. End it before ish lingers

Maya said...

My approach (in the past) has mirrored Max's post...I've found myself in situations where I continue to hang on until I reach the point of no return. However (still speaking of the past) I have allowed resentment to seep in and consume me for a short time during that initial post-breakup season. I mean, I eventually get over it (I promise I refuse to be classified as yet another "bitter black woman"...And Tunde, I think you're right. I think that often with the relationship die-hards, our S/O is probably the one who's trying to escape from the relationship and we're keeping them there out of some twisted obligation. Eh...I'm clearly going to adopt a new system next time.

Tunde said...

@NIA: exactly. if the person hasn't really done anything then you really will look like the asshole. but a sometimes, "it's not you, it's me" actually holds true.

Streetz: i knew someone else would like the show. maybe just dudes were feeling it. pause.

Maya: let me know the breakdown of your system when you adopt it. lol


Change of Heart was was Love Connection...I find dating shows quite entertaining, especially when they aren't acting...

Now I hate some of the "other" reality dating Bachelor

Anonymous said...

Heard about it, but never watched the show.

I never find it easy to end a relationship that doesn't have a "falling out" moment and it's mostly cause I don't want to be the guy to break someone's heart. I've also been on the receiving end of the "it's not you, it's me" speech. I'd rather hear that speech then stay in a relationship with someone who isn't 100% in it to win it, but it doesn't make it easier to deal with the breakup.

Gem of the Ocean said...

great post!!! this is gonna be a spectatular series--cant wait!!

why i likes change of heart:
1) you know the problem in your relationship and is in jeopardy of ending. sometimes when you tell your S.O. there is a problem, they're not always willing to fix it, esp if they're comfortable and the SO allowed them to get away with it. this way, each person knows things arent going well and are considering leaving.
2) both parties consensually agree to dating another person. they both know the deal and want to explore other options without completely ending things. sometimes ppl just need to be reassured that there is some one out there who is willing to treat them how they wanna be treated. and to be wanted.
3) you HAVE to make a decision to stay or move on. theres no guess work involved. after you get the opportunity to date some one else, you get to say without a doubt what you want to happen. and sometimes the other person has a diff idea then you (which is often the case) and you just have to respect their decision in the end.

the show is genius and i LOVED it!!! glad you like it too, tunde :)

Sukez said...

The show was only funny SOMETIMES but that was when i was younger and knew no better. But now I think that's a terrible way to tell someone you don't want to be with them and/or that there are problems in the relationship. It's hard to tell someone that you don't want to be with them. In my case, it took a year to finally mouth the words "This isn't going to work out". Why? Because, I guess I was holding on to what I thought could be fixed but it was long past it's expiration date like TwitMama said.