Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sexual Chemistry

"I wonder which one is the best fit."

I'm just going to dive right into it. Not everyone has good sex. Not saying that they suck (no pun intended) overall, they just have bad chemistry with certain people. The crazy thing is that while you might have spectacular, sweat it out, orgasm-inducing sessions with one person the experience might differ when you're with the next person. Watching paint dry could be more exciting.

Sexual chemistry is a complex dynamic. What looks good on paper may not always translate into the bedroom. The physical aspects of sexual compatibility are the easiest to define. It encompasses such things as a couple's mutual like or dislike of various positions, sexual variety (oral, vaginal, anal, etc.), timing and sexual longevity. Other physical aspects involve the various tangibleness of our bodies, such as penis size, vaginal tightness, overall height, weight, breast size, butt size, quality of personal hygiene, etc.

I'm going to give you some insight into how my mind works. When I first become interested in a woman I usually try to gauge how well she is in bed. This gauge has nothing to do with her body type, how full her lips are or whatever freaky shit I can imagine her doing. Some women I just imagine or fantasize as being thrilling in bed and it has no rhyme or reason behind it. My 6th sense isn't always on point because I've been wrong on many occasions. On the flip side I've imagined that a woman might be a lazy or boring lay and was pleasantly surprised when I was left breathless.

Have you ever experienced a sexual encounter where the sexual chemistry was so good that you had to wonder if they could read your mind? What about sex so bad that you actually felt sorry for the other person involved? What physical aspect do you use to determine if someone might be good in bed? And what's up with me writing/tweeting about sex so much lately? lol


Kim said...

This was one point Tunde, chemistry has everything to do with sex. If you don't got it with the other person you just don't and you can't wait for the moment to be over...

Peyso said...

I've had some good chemistry w/ a few ppl. Wont talk about those too much lol. However, there was this time when there was absolutely no chemistry. We were in the middle of doing the deed and we looked at each other and simultaneously said "I think we should stop"

N.I.A. naturally... said...

I have had amazing sexual chemistry with a lover. But, I've had more bad exoeriences. For me, it boils down to what he can do for me mentally and emotionally before we hit the sheets. I've had bad sexual chemistry with a guy who was built like OLB (the NFL draft had me salivating at the big, sexy bodies), but amazing chemistry with a tall skinny lanky dude. The lanky dude was able to stimulate me in various ways, but the OLB was only aesthetically pleasing.

It's really just a feeling, a vibe I get from a guy. I think using a physical aspect to determine good sexual chemistry is incredibly faulty.

And to answer your last question, you're probably a little horny. Or just a man... lol.

Streetz said...

Good post fam!

I will just say that looks do NOT a great sexual partner make. THere are modellin BAD chicks out there that are lame ducks in the sack. its a damn shame. Quiet women are the ones to watch for... 9x out of 10 they will rock your UNIVERSE!

Sunkissed404 said...

Lol.. You're "In heat!"

I had the strongest sexual chemistry with my ex, who intellectually stimulated me in the months leading up to us having sex...Needless to say, he talked like Barry White, which helped out alot. But overall, it was his swag..He exuded confidence in all other elements of his life.

On the other hand, I am guilty for trying to force sexual chemistry into a previous relationship, but it just wasn't natural..and it was obvious. Like Peyso said, it got to the point where I was like "Ummm..not feelin it". I was dissapointed, cuz I had such big dreams. lol

Ms. Minx said...

I've also had great chemistry with the most unlikely person EVAR, and vice versa. The last person I had bad chemistry with was pretty awful, and it really hurt my feelings cuz I coulda sworn it was gonna be grreat! Smh *sole tear* LOL

Dith said...

Personally, i just cannot have sex with someone i don't connect with on a mental & physical level. Casual sex is so stupid & pointless to me. We cld makeout and frolic around for days but when it boils down 2 d deed, sumtn just always seems off.

I also think that 2much anticipation of great sex with a particular someone almost always leads to a flop.
U kinda just hv 2 let things flow as with almost anything in life. When u expect too much, u almost always end up disappointed.

Fantasize and all, but don't always assume someone would suck in bed or be great in bed, but then again it is easier said than done. Even i am guilty of assuming.

I am no sexpert, but i'm just saying and 2 answer ur question, Maybe you've just been extra horny off late?

Ms. Sylaneous said...

LOL good post Tunde..
So- there was a fella I had my eye on since the first day I literally laid my eyes on him. I don't think I thought about any sexual stuff initially, but eventually I did start 'sizing him up'. We ended up at a lot of the same parties, and he quickly became my #1 'get sweaty never stop dancing' partner (LOL). I think the dancing is what made me start thinkin bout what he could do in the bedroom.. I had prettty darn high expectations. We eventually did have sex... on his bday on year. I don't know if it was his bday drunken stupor or my nerves, but it was a bit less than I had imagined. It was good cause it was him, but ummm... NOT what I had imagined. I wasn't disappointed enough to say 'FUCK IT' though... I actually liked him, ya know. We kept the friend thing going of course until on his bday years later it went down again... and MY MY MY! LOL My INITIAL assessment was right- no, I lie.. my initial assessment was less than what I got! **cue high light reel LOL**

The bad- yeah, sized a guy up... and he disappointed HORRIBLY... to the point where I politely excused myself to the shower... then came back and watched TV LOL

And- to answer your question of why you've been tweeting/blogging about sex so much... MAYBE it's because it's the written/typed manifestation of what's currently missing in your life! LOL bet cha game up or your lotion up...LOL *shrugs* :-) LOL

JStar said...

LOL....Oh so true...Women know in the first three minutes of meeting you if you "Can get it" or not...Its because of the sexual chemistry being felt...Sometimes you can just look at someone and tell...Me, if he has the equipment, then atleast I can make sure the job gets done...Because if he doesnt know what to do with it, I can teach that...But if he cant even reach my hot spot, then its a waste of time...Not always right, but I look at the hands....MOST of the time, mens size is from the tip of the middle finger to thier wrist...Feet are not good measures...Because I have been pleasently suprised lol....I am now a new follower :)