What Chili Wants

This weekend Nashville experienced record-breaking rain, flooding and deaths. Needless to say I've been stuck in the house for the latter part of the last 36 hours. Because of this I got a chance to completely catch up on my DVR and other shows that came on television. I just finished watching this show, What Chili Wants. Thanks to twitter I've heard various things about this show but I never got a chance to watch it myself. This was completely by choice because I definitely watch the Brandy & Ray-J show (which comes on right after).

Apparently like every other C-list celebrity that's looking for love, VH-1 decided to give her a shot. My immediate thoughts are that Chili is kind of self-righteous and definitely too picky. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with having standards but Tionna (the girl setting her up on dates) picked out a variety of men. Based on the tweets from a lot of the women in my timeline some of these guys seemed like winners and they would love to go on dates with most of them.

In my opinion, Chili's problem is that she has a long check list in her mind of what she wants in a man. Check lists aren't the problem as long as the items on the list are realistic. Nothing is wrong with wanting a partner who is generous, nice, intelligent, ambitious, good with children, etc. When your list starts comprising items such as: can't eat pork, has to be this tall, can't drink at all, etc. you will start to alienate yourself.

My first solution to Chili's issues is that she is LOOKING for a man. Whatever happened to letting a man find you? Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." It says nothing about she who finds a husband. Chili really has the game twisted. Maybe her messing around with Usher has her outlook and perception on dating all messed up (yep #shots).

Second, Chili acts real self-righteous. I'm not saying that she doesn't have the right to be but lets face it. She has stated on her show that she really wants to have another child. Let's run down her statistics. According to Wikipedia, she is 39 years old and a single mother. Personally I just wouldn't be excited about going into a situation with a woman knowing that it would be a ready-made family type thing. At damn near 40, based on child bearing years, she's pretty ancient. She also has a lot of baggage as far as previous relationships in the public eye (Dallas Austin, Usher, Floyd Mayweather and T.J. Holmes). That being said Chili has many flaws just like the men she dates so for her not to even give most of them a chance seems a little sanctimonious.

What Chili Wants is a microcosm of what occurs in society today. I see it on twitter a lot as well with trending topics such as #ICouldNeverDate. Everyone wants to say what they won't put up with and what is wrong with the dating pool that they are exposed to. My advice is to look within yourself first because I guarantee most times the things that you say you won't tolerate, you probably exude. That's just my advice. Rozonda Thomas (or whoever this fits), take it how you will.

***added video***

Sexual Chemistry

"I wonder which one is the best fit."

I'm just going to dive right into it. Not everyone has good sex. Not saying that they suck (no pun intended) overall, they just have bad chemistry with certain people. The crazy thing is that while you might have spectacular, sweat it out, orgasm-inducing sessions with one person the experience might differ when you're with the next person. Watching paint dry could be more exciting.

Sexual chemistry is a complex dynamic. What looks good on paper may not always translate into the bedroom. The physical aspects of sexual compatibility are the easiest to define. It encompasses such things as a couple's mutual like or dislike of various positions, sexual variety (oral, vaginal, anal, etc.), timing and sexual longevity. Other physical aspects involve the various tangibleness of our bodies, such as penis size, vaginal tightness, overall height, weight, breast size, butt size, quality of personal hygiene, etc.

I'm going to give you some insight into how my mind works. When I first become interested in a woman I usually try to gauge how well she is in bed. This gauge has nothing to do with her body type, how full her lips are or whatever freaky shit I can imagine her doing. Some women I just imagine or fantasize as being thrilling in bed and it has no rhyme or reason behind it. My 6th sense isn't always on point because I've been wrong on many occasions. On the flip side I've imagined that a woman might be a lazy or boring lay and was pleasantly surprised when I was left breathless.

Have you ever experienced a sexual encounter where the sexual chemistry was so good that you had to wonder if they could read your mind? What about sex so bad that you actually felt sorry for the other person involved? What physical aspect do you use to determine if someone might be good in bed? And what's up with me writing/tweeting about sex so much lately? lol

I'm Beamin

I'm a big Lupe Fiasco fan. Dude undeniably makes great music but he is constantly underrated. I absolutely love Food & Liquor and The Cool. After he released his Enemy of the State mixtape I was left wanting more since it was only about 20 minutes. I was excited to watch his video for I'm Beamin. I really can't wait to buy the Lasers album.

The Bet

So this past Saturday Nashville experienced monsoon type weather so I was basically trapped in the house all day. Instead of doing work (because my laptop was trapped in the lab and I wasn't getting drenched) I sat in the house all day and watched movies. First up on my list was Love & Basketball. After that I watched the Wood then I ended the night with The Best Man.

Watching the part of The Wood when the Big Mike, Roland and Slim had the bet had me thinking about when I was a horny teenager. If you don't remember what scene I'm referring to here it is:

I remember when I was a virgin and my friends and I would have conversations about girls and sex. Personally, I was in no rush to lose my virginity. While my teammates and I would have locker talk and they would tell tall tales of their sexual conquests, no one believed me when I told them I was a virgin. Maybe they thought I just didn't want them in my business or maybe they thought I couldn't possibly be a virgin. Either way I was always telling the truth. It wasn't that I was saving myself for marriage but I honestly knew that I wasn't ready to be having sex and based on conversations with my father I knew that it was always going to be there.

It's amazing how much a young man that age can think about sex. As I entered college still a virgin it was basically all I thought about (besides basketball). Still a virgin, I was more reluctant to tell people about my status because at that point people looked at me like a freak of nature (especially being a guy). At this point I often thought on the advice/rules my mother gave me, "focus on your studies, the women will always be there"..."you can't have a girlfriend till you're 19." and I started to wonder why I listened to her.

Flash forward to my first girlfriend. End Virginity. I'm not going to tell you exactly how old I was but it was my 1st semester of my junior year in college. I remember what I was doing right before (at a Sigma probate) and what I did after. Those are all the details I'll reveal. I think I definitely lost my virginity to the right person at the right time. My outlook on sex and relationships (but mostly sex) today were shaped on my experiences with my first girlfriend.

Do you remember your first time? Do you regret losing your virginity to the person you lost it to? Are you still a virgin (I hope not)? How was your first time? Do you remember how simple life was pre-sex?

The World Is Your Oyster

I remember it like it was yesterday. My 7th grade homeroom teacher, Mrs. Seabolt, told me that the "World could be my oyster." Let me give you a little bit of background information. In elementary school I got decent grades but I was talkative and my grades didn't reflect my potential. I had never heard the term "World could be your oyster" so being the curious youth that I was I asked her what it meant. She basically told me that "all opportunities are open to someone, the world is theirs." Maybe it was the naivety of a 12 year old but I actually believed that I could do anything I put my mind to. I actually believed that I could take over the world. All this because an 80+ year old woman with throat cancer believed in me. Yep 80+. Mrs. Seabolt always carried around a cup of water because her radiation therapy left her without the ability to produce her own saliva. It really hurt me the next year when I found out that she succumbed to her cancer. From the 7th grade till my junior year in high school I didn't get so much as a B on my report card (damn physics). I've never shared my motivation behind doing so well in school with anyone. She didn't just tell me positive things. She saw my potential and worked with me. She kicked me in the ass whenever I slacked and pushed me to be great.

It's amazing how someone can see something in you that you never saw in yourself. All it takes is someone to open up your eyes so you can see it for yourself. Teachers have the most underrated, underpaid, under appreciated profession in this country. My motivation to do well in school was an older, Caucasian woman. Not my parents, not a professional athlete, not a rapper but a teacher.

To this day I still think I can take over the world. Maybe not in the literal sense but in a theoretical one. I still think that I can do anything I put my mind to. I don't put restrictions on myself. I know that in order to achieve anything in this world, I have to grab the opportunities that life has given to me. I find it ironic that the woman who first gave me my motivation died from cancer now I'm in the field of cancer research.

Who first told you that you could be great? Where do you continue to look for motivation? Do you have that one teacher who made a difference in your life?

This is my song of the month and maybe the summer.

#onmycockyshit

As I sit on my couch on this magnificent Monday afternoon I couldn't help but think of how great I am. I know what you're asking yourself, "What makes Tunde so great?". Well don't fret, I'm about to tell you.

The first step to being great is to have confidence in yourself because if you don't believe in you then who will? I like this song called New York by Ja Rule. It features Fat Joe and Jadakiss. Kiss has this bar that makes so much sense to me:

I'm not cocky, I'm confident

So when you tell me I'm the best

It's a compliment.

Now let me tell you why I'm so great.

I had a staring contest with the sun and won. Eclipse.

I'm the reason why Waldo is hiding. Let me know if you see him.

I once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

I ordered a Big Mac at Burger King last week, and got one.

I don't teabag girls, I potato sack them.

I once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made me blink.

Ok I didn't do any of these things. Chuck Norris did. I'm still awesome though.

I even started my own trending topic on twitter (#onmycockyshit).

Do you feel yourself (pause)? Do you think the sun rises and shines on your ass? Are you your biggest fan? Tell me why you're so great.

#hoshit

I see right through your shenanigans.

This past week Spring was officially bitch-slapped by Summer and told to get to the back of the line. We went from nice temperatures of low to mid 70's to the high 80's. Its been nice enjoying this weather. The bruhs have been cooking out all week (not like that's anything out of the norm) and my friends and I have been on our happy hour patio flow.

The subject I wanted to touch on in this blog post are the articles of clothing some women sport when the temperatures reach a certain level. I understand and appreciate the amount of skin that is revealed. What I'm not a fan of is #hoshit and/or women who wear clothes that are two sizes to small. Neither one is appealing to my eyes or my taste and I would rather you stay out of my line of vision. In my opinion there is a difference between being sensual and suggestive and being trashy and trifling.

Maybe its my fault because I can filter out #hoshit. I understand the reasoning behind some women's logic. "I'm not really that cute in the face so let me wear the lowest cut shirt I can find so I can display my breasts for the world to see. Maybe guys will look past the disappointment that I call my face and be hypnotized by my double D's." or how about "I know I'm a 16 but lets see if I can squeeze into this size 12. Yeah my rolls will be exposed but it makes my ass seem so much bigger. Maybe he won't think about the craters I have in my ass once I take off my clothes." I really can't fault the logic some women use because 75% (underestimating) of dudes will fall for this game hook, line and sinker. This will produce a lot of inflated egos. Which will lead to what I like to call:

a margin of error on the scale

What's does that mean? Well I'm glad you asked. Lets say a woman is around a 5 on the scale. She's not really that cute in the face but she has a fairly decent size ass and she has a C cup. She wears very revealing clothes so she gets hit on all day by random dudes. What she doesn't realize is that 9 out of the 10 dudes who try to holla at her don't even know what color her eyes are. She begins to believe that she is cuter than she is and in her mind she rates herself about an 8. Far be it for me to knock for woman for having confidence but lets be real. If said woman didn't have the body that she flaunts she would not get second looks. Now she is a 5 with an 8's attitude. Then she comes across a guy like me who can see past the gimmick and with her attitude I now think she's a 3.

What do you think of my theory on #hoshit and the increase of it now that its getting hot out? Am I just a pompous asshole? Do you participate in #hoshit?