Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just Black...?

*****After having a good discussion, I asked my favorite, Milan, to write a guest blog post. I think she has an interesting perspective. Enjoy. Also laides if you want to know about the latest make and beauty products on the market hit up her blog. Click HERE to see it. *****

So I was actually pleased when my boy Tunde suggested I get on and write this post for his blog because it’s a topic I feel strongly about and have some ‘not so great’ experience with. It’s actually a follow-up to a post he wrote HERE that I thought was extremely thought provoking.

After reading Tunde’s post, it brought back a ton of memories I had of situations in the past (that were essentially the reverse of what he was talking about) where I was made to feel inadequate or “less than” because…well…I am ‘just’ black or ‘just’ African-American, if you will. Yes you read right, JUST black…as if being so was simply not good enough. I’ve heard some Africans and even Afro-Caribbean people say African-Americans are “lost, lazy and lack true heritage”. Instead of embracing African-Americans as an extension of who they are and the cultures they represent, many have chosen to shun us or write us off as “lost”. This is mind-boggling to me. And hurtful.

I identify myself as black or African-American. I tend to use the two interchangeably a lot although African-American speaks more to my culture whereas black can include people of various cultural backgrounds with a common tie to African ancestry. I was born here in the United States, so were my parents, so were their parents and several generations before them. Yet, I know I am a descendent of Africa. I know my roots and heritage can be traced directly back to that continent. I know my ancestors were taken from Africa, brought to America as slaves and that’s essentially where my family’s story in this country begins. I’ve had family members trace our ancestry back to the early/mid-1800s. I know my people were slaves in this country. I even know what states some of them lived, who may have owned them, how they married, what children they had, how they moved and migrated across this country, and how I came to be born and raised in California. These are things I know.

What I do not know is exactly what country in Africa my people came from. I do not know what village or tribe I am a descendant of. I do not know what region I am from. I do not have names of my African ancestors. I myself do not have an African surname. But my heart is there, I know it, I feel it and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to take that away from me or any other African-American in this country. I am proud of who I am, I am proud of the ancestors that struggled in THIS country for me to have the opportunities I have, I am proud of what African-Americans here represent. I am proud of my family and my name.

When I was in college, I had a Nigerian guy I liked tell me although he liked me too…his parents would never accept me because I was ‘just’ black. I think this was the first of many of these types of comments I would encounter throughout the years usually from well-meaning African friends of mine. At the time I didn’t even fully understand what that meant…’just’ black. But it did stick with me. I guess I was naïve and looked at us all in much the same way. Yes, I was aware of cultural differences, however, black was black to me. Whether you were Haitian, Nigerian, Belizean, African-American, Trinidadian, Jamaican-American, Eritrean, etc. It was the first time I started seeing the major division that WE create amongst ourselves. The various sects that had arisen, the “culture snobs” (as I tend to call them) that existed…those that shun anything and everything that is different from the specific African culture they were a part of. The “oh you can’t know ANYTHING about this over here because THIS is Naija”. Yeah, that attitude. I have more stories along these lines, but in the interest of not writing an epic novel (just a short book apparently LOL), I won’t share them all. But you get the idea. I’m all for cultural pride. I get that. I love seeing it. I think blacks are some of the most diverse and interesting people on this planet. But when that pride turns to elitism, that’s when I have a problem.

I think we have enough “outside forces” that try to divide and conquer black people and that try to make us feel inferior that it’s sad to me that we do it to ourselves as well. That internal rejection tends to hurt more than the rejection you receive when you expect it from “others”.

I used to feel bad when I would hear the “you’re JUST black”comments. Like I was lacking something that made me inadequate. Now that I’m older, I don’t feel bad…I’m extremely proud to be JUST black or African-American. Black people in the United States have had to endure incredible pain and suffering and have had to overcome numerous struggles to be able to live equally and fairly. We STILL struggle for that. But we have a fighting spirit that can’t be matched. We’re survivors. And not for nothing, I think that strength was born and fed in Africa and has been passed down from generation to generation and still exists to this day in this country and around the world. We are resilient.

I have always been interested in learning about various cultures, especially various African/Afro-Caribbean cultures. It’s fascinating to me. Not because I’m searching for something that I lack, but because I tend to discover an aspect of these cultures that has translated into African-American culture in some way. I think that’s pretty special and I would encourage other African people to do the same. Especially those that are hung-up on the idea that being ‘just black’ isn’t good enough. They may discover that what connects us if far greater than what separates us. They may also discover that when they look at us, they’ll see themselves more often than not.

Ethiopian, Nigerian, Ugandan, Eritrean, Belizean, Trinidadian, Jamaican, Bahamian….yeah, I think African-Americans are all of those mixed up and rolled into one. I think that’s pretty dope and I’m extremely proud to be JUST black.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Capital Punishment


***Before you read any further please know that I'm writing this blog based on my own opinions and views. If you disagree or have different opinions take it up in the comment section. Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one.***

After the execution of John Allen Muhammad I have many thoughts about the views of others. Do I think that Muhammad was a monster? Of course. Do I believe that he got what he deserved? Of course not. I'm absolutely do not believe in capital punishment. The past 24 hours or so I have been having conversations about whether capital punishment is wrong. I've been getting mixed reviews.

I feel like it is no man's place on Earth to judge whether another man lives or dies. That is for God to decide.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her (John 8:7).

This is not to say that adultery is the same as murder but is all sin not equal? In the Old Testament the Bible describes various sins that are punishable by death. These include kidnapping (Exodus 21:16), bestiality (Exodus 22:19), adultery (Leviticus 20:10), homosexuality (Leviticus 20:13). Based on this a lot more people in this world deserve to die then.

Another issue I have with people who are for capital punishment is if you were given the choice to pull the lever, inject the needle, let the gas in the chamber, etc. could you? If you couldn't because your conscious or religious beliefs couldn't/wouldn't let you physically take another life then I don't think you are really for the death penalty. In a way it is being cowardice because you want an individual to die but you just don't have the balls to do it yourself.

What about those people that have been wrongly accused of crimes and were sentenced to death? Yeah I know they all say they didn't do it but what about those cases when they actually didn't? It happens a lot more than you think, click this here to see some statistics. Here are two examples:

Earl Washington, a Virginia man with limited mental capacity, was sentenced to death after he allegedly confessed to committing a 1982 murder he didn't commit. He served a decade on death row, once coming within nine days of execution before receiving a stay. He would serve a total of 17 years behind bars before DNA testing obtained by the Innocence Project cleared him in 2000.

Frank Lee Smith died of cancer on Florida’s death row after serving 14 years for a murder and rape he didn't commit. He was cleared by DNA testing obtained by the Innocence Project 11 months after his death.

Where is the justice for these men? What if they were actually executed then who should answer to God for that? I wonder how many people in this country have actually been executed for a crime that they didn't commit.

Yesterday on twitter I saw a barrage of tweets that really had me questioning people's moral integrity. People actually went in on a girl who asked for other to pray for Muhammad. How can you actually get mad at someone who asks to for prayers for another individual? I don't care how much evil that many has done. Once he passes over into the next life he has to answer to whatever higher being he worships.

Do you believe in Capital Punishment? Are you glad that John Allen Muhammad was executed? Am I being overly sensitive? Do you care either way?

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Masks We Wear



**In honor of Halloween, the one holiday where everyone tries to be something that they aren't, I decided to write this post.**

We all have a variety of masks that each of us wears daily. These may be the identities that have been given to us, or ones that we have assumed over time.

As long as we recognize that we are wearing a mask we should be in good shape. But when the mask becomes a seeming reality for us, then that's when trouble begins. We confuse the mask with the person, and if we are to consummate enough, so do those around us. Gradually the mask becomes a trap, and we become the mask.

I see so many people who wear masks in their every day lives. They attempt to be something or someone that they are not, failing to realize that sometimes who they are under the mask is better than any mask that they can attempt to wear. It's easy to believe that we we really are is simply not good enough.

On the flip side not every use of a mask is negative, however. Masks can help us build our own defenses for the time we need them. They can give us power, or at least the illusion of fortitude, in a time when we may feel powerless. As long as the masks remain flexible and breakable, we can alter them at will, still realizing that we are not what we wear on our face as the mask we present to others.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Hater

I was listening to my iPod last night and this song came on my shuffle. I thought to myself that the premise of this song is really some hater sh*t (worse than the premise of 'I Luv Your Girl'). The title goes perfectly with the song.


We've all been there before whether you want to admit it or not. You meet her/him and there's an instant attraction to the point where you want to get to know this person better. That is until they drop the bomb on you and they tell you that they are involved. At this point I most people would cut their losses and keep it moving. But what if you don't want to give up that easily? I mean they are giving you time and opportunity for a reason right? Why should I (speaking in generalities) care about who she/he has at home? I don't owe them a damn thing.

What if you actually know of their significant other but you're still not cool with them like that? Do you still give them the respect of not trying to scoop their man/woman like a Marion Barber fumble? I've actually come across this situation twice in my adult life. And like the Dream said: "...the cool n***a in me was like don't do it but the other n***a was like man f**k that n***a." In both of these situations I took the other n***a approach. This line of thought got me what I wanted only half the time and even in that situation it was years later after they broke up. The other situation I feel could have been something great were it not for the wrong time/place.

I had to ask myself in the end was it worth it to hate on the next man because he had what I wanted. Have you ever hated on the next person? Do you believe in karma and someone might try to jedi mind trick your significant other into believing the grass is indeed greener on the other side?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dream-10/24/09


Last night I went to sleep particularly early for a Saturday night (before 2am). I had just came back from going to a haunted house (maybe this has a lot to do with the nature of my dream). So in my dream I had I was sleep in my bed and someone was banging on my front door. In my dream I woke up and I looked at my alarm clock and it was 3:26am. As I was going to see who was at the door I heard someone kick in my back door. At this point my heat turned on and since my house is older it has a lot of creaks and cracks. I awoke in real life thinking someone actually was trying to break in my house.

It took me about 10 minutes to fall back to sleep. It seemed as soon as fell asleep I had the same dream with the same result. This happened 3 times. The last time I fell asleep I had a dream that I heard someone near my bedroom window. These individuals in question lit my house on fire. At this point in my dream I was looking at myself sleeping and I was telling myself to get up and get out of the house but for some reason I couldn't get up.

When I finally awoke in real life my heart was pounding out of control and I tried to move but for some reason I couldn't move my arms or legs. I really can't say how long this feeling lasted but when I finally looked at the clock it was after 3:30. I didn't fall back asleep till after 5 at which point I don't remember what I dreamed about.



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Sleep paralysis consists of a period of inability to perform voluntary movements either at sleep onset (called hypnogogic or predormital form) or upon awakening (called hypnopompic or postdormtal form).Our bodies protect us from acting out our dreams by paralyzing us. Sometimes, the paralysis lingers after you wake up.

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Burglary- is an untrustworthy individual; ulterior motives; someone who will end up taking something.

Arson- stands for willful destruction done in a person's life.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Dream-10/17/09


One of the greatest heroes

This past Saturday I had a dream that I was at an amusement park in Nashville (no such thing exists in real life) and I was having a great time with my friends. I haven't been to an amusement park since maybe 2002. All of a sudden I see a bunch of people running and I hear security on the loud speaker telling everyone to exit the park in a calm and orderly manner. This only made people run towards the exit fast and more disorderly.

Nashville Skyline

As I looked towards the Nashville skyline I saw missiles being fired at the batman building. It was crazy because I couldn't exactly tell in what direction the missiles came from. All I know was that Nashville was under attack. Next thing I know there was a massive earthquake. The ground literally cracked open and a giant tripod (re: War of the Worlds) came out the ground and started killing people. As we all ran for our lives I saw missiles being fired at the tripod. I thought that it was entirely too fast for the military to get there. As I looked behind me I saw Optimus Prime firing missiles towards the tripod. Next thing I know its like 6 tripods fighting Optimus. He ended up killing all of them and saving the day.

Evil tripod
I know for a fact that I watch too much tv and way too many movies. Sad part is I don't plan on cutting back anytime soon.

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~Amusement Park- To see or be in an amusement park in your dream, indicates you need to set some time for leisure and more enjoyment in your life. Consider how everything in the park is an expression of some aspect of yourself. Alternatively, you may be too easily distracted lately.

~Robot- To see a robot in your dream, indicates that you are going about life in a mechanical and rigid way. You have lost the ability to express your feelings. Alternatively, a robot may symbolize the way you view your working life.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I'm African, What Are You?


Downtown Lagos. Not a hut in sight.

African American is a term used to show racial origins. The term itself is not racial or even political, but cultural since 'African American' is a cultural group. Even though the term is cultural I still feel that it is used to divide people of color. Growing up it was deemed such a negative thing to be associated with Africa. There were so many stereotypes about Africa. Types of questions I would get asked were “do you walk around naked in Africa?” Another person asked me “do you live in huts at Africa?” Whenever people asked me these questions, it really used to bother me. I used to actually be ashamed of my heritage because I was young and didn't know any better. Now I love the fact that I am African.

Most people don't know what the life in Africa looks like because they got these stereotypes from movies and internet sources. My family is from Lagos, Nigeria in West Africa. Lagos is one of the biggest and busiest places in Africa. It is filled with airports, hotels, restaurants, and some industries. Countries outside Africa even have business and vacation sectors in Lagos. The official language of Nigeria is British English along with traditional languages. Nigeria has more than 200 tribes. Nigeria is not the only advanced country in Africa; there are countries like South Africa, Ghana, Tunisia, Togo and other countries that are advancing.

Personally I feel if no matter what country you are from, if you are a person of color then you are African. If you are Dominican, guess what? Your people got to that island from somewhere. If you are a black French, you definitely are African. My friend Azza, sent me this video the other day. It's refreshing to see someone try to unify black people, from all over the globe. I think there is too much separation as it is.