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I was on twitter today and I noticed the trending topic #playedout. As I read the various responses I was slightly amused by some and I was generally annoyed by the majority of them. Anyway, it caused to think about some things that are played out. One thing that I think is played out is... *drum roll*
Phat Asses (over all thickness for that matter)
Now I know what you're thinking. I'm tripping right? Or maybe I'm delusional? How could I say that about the one body part on a woman that most men can't resist? Hear me out.
I used to always find myself lusting after in relationships with thicker women. It used to be something about a phat ass and double D breasts that sent me over the edge. I mean don't get me wrong they still do but I have come to appreciate the petiteness of a woman. There is nothing wrong with a B cup (or a full A). I'm from the state of mind that all you really need is mouthful. Honestly, anything more than that is extra. You don't need to have the body type to fill out a pair of apple bottoms if you just as sexy in a pair of 7 jeans. The only advantage I could imagine to having a bigger ass (from a guy's p.o.v.) would be back shots. As someone who really enjoys that there really isn't that big of a difference unless you going from say Pinky to Amy Winehouse. So for all you women who aren't as blessed in that area, there is hope for you yet. Just joking (a little). [*1]
Next I think we all are in agreement that the majority of men are visual creatures. Reading this blog Lost in Brook Lynn (Magic City Dancer), she did a question & answer session with the manager of Magic City. Here is an excerpt of the dialog:
Do you ever stop caring that there are a bunch of nude women around you ?
-Definitely, it’s overrated. Most women look better with their clothes on.
Now this is coming from a man who sees probably the best looking strippers in the country. In my opinion ass dimples and booty do's is not what's hot in the streets. These are things that can look good in clothes but when those clothes come off all that thickness just isn't as appealing.
Probably not so much
I don't know maybe if more men thought like me then women wouldn't feel the need to try to fool us into thinking they have what we desire (breast augmentation, butt pads, underwire pushup bras, etc.). I for one would be disappointed if I managed to be fooled by such tricks, deception and swindles. A classic example are of this is Nicki Minaj. If you were to see her without all that crap she wears she's actually a pretty decent looking woman. I believe she has fallen victim to industry packaging and feels the need to sell sex. Either way, its rumored that she wears butt implants. Compare her to one of my celebrity crushes, Keri Hilson, who embraces her body and doesn't feel the need to try to bamboozle us. I would roll with Keri any day of the week.
Queen of Butt Pads
-OR-
Slim & Slender
I don't want this post to be misconstrued as me trying to degrade or put down my thicker sisters because that's hardly the case. This post is just something that I thought has been over emphasized and is now getting kinda played.
With that I leave you with a quote from the philosopher Malice of Clipse [Counseling track ft. Nicole Hurst off their new album Till the Casket Drops]:
"I used to be all about a phat assthen I found a cutie with a flat assgood hair, nice smile but a flat ass2 outta 3, shit I couldn't let that pass" [*1]
[*1] I am in no way saying I like flat asses. I'm actually more of an ass man than a breast man. Just wanted to put that out there.
36 comments:
This is real talk and it hits home for me because my wife is petite. Not saying that anything is wrong with non-petite women, but I like her just the way she is. And just as the Magic City Manager said, at times, nudity is overrated. More often than not, a female may look better in a lingerie or swimwear than she does naked. We sometimes forget how clothes enhance appearance, and only view them as a hinderance that conceals what we wish to see. That bra that holds up those DD's or those jeans that envelop that 44" ass are the MVU (Most Valuable Underwear) for some women, because without them, the fact that she can stick her nipples inside her belly button and/or her ass is as craterous as the moon is exposed. Again, not that huge b's and b's are all bad, but I also keep in mind that weight in life is usually a bell curve. It starts low, creeps up, rises more steadily, reaches its peak, then declines and heads back down, but by then, who cares, because she's 78 years old and a figure is the least of your/her worries.
I cosign the message here totally. I've always been an individual who sees beauty in multiple forms, and I've always been that guy that was equal opportunity when it came too beauty. I like my thick women, but I feel that this whole "bootylicious" movement has done the same thing to female psyches as the model/anorexic movement. I'm just saying..
I do agree that the whole "thick" thing has gone too far. I might be wrong (if so I don't mind being corrected or hearing a different perspective)... Anyway- I think the whole idea behind the " thick love" crazy started at a time when skinny=pretty; at a time when curvy women were looked down upon and deemed ugly by body type. At some point some thick girl decided it was okay to not be a size 2, and that being a size 12 or 14 was perfectly fine. With that- I agree.. HOWEVER - the word thick has been horribly misrepresented at times. Some of us are naturally curvy.... will never be skinny by genetics (myself included) we are who I consider "thick". I work out...I'm healthy... Could be a bit tighter, but overall- I am thick. Now these women running around with booty-do and super flappy arms and legs... The ones who have to lift their chins to see their necks... The ones who's bodies look like skin draped over rice crispies and all pitted/dented- those are the heffas who give US a bad name! Lol. Everybody does prefer different things... Just certainly hope the initial physical (be it thick or thin) isn't the only thing your attraction is based on *by mr using YOU doesn't mean you Tunde, you refers to the current reader- just thought I'd clear that up* ... Now- that is all... Good day! :-)
Good post.
Everyone has their preferences, so its whatever to me. I'm a bigger woman (striving to get smaller) but I will never be petite. At my smallest I was still a size 10 with a 28 inch waist & 41 inch hips, so I will always have curves & an hourglass & I'm cool with that.
I do wish more women would see the beauty in not having everything hanging out tho...less is more when it comes to sexiness, at least to me. You don't have to be totally naked or have on less than a yard of clothing to be sexy.
I agree with Ms. Sylaneous that the thick thing has gone too far.
As a petite woman with curves (finally) I can see how it started to big up the bigger, curvier woman-- and I respect that but lets be real some people claiming "thick" are only doing so to avoid the truth and guys have gassed them up for it. Its easy to hate on the women for claiming it but I also blame the men for letting it get as far as it has.
No grown woman should be wearing butt pads a la Minaj or Kardashian or get butt implants like Lola Monroe to get/keep a man. And now you got Body Magic squishing all the stomach fat in to create the hourglass facade. If you have a big gut with a big chest and big booty--its not an hourglass, thats just a circle. And can be from size 6-26.
OMG Tunde! Church, Tabernacle, all that! Not much to say but *fingersnaps!*
I can agree with this approach. Just this morning on Rickey Smiley show, they were mentioning that Beyonce was outed for having a butt pad on. It is so true that if we as men wouldnt put so much into a certain look; women would feel required to do it. In the end, a man will choose a woman because he desires her company; over the fact that she got a phat ass.
TraveliNupe
I def agree with Reecie and Sylaneous. I'm just big on women doing them and what makes THEM happy when it comes to their bodies, how they dress, etc etc. If you have to try to fake or fool (breast implants, butt pads, body magic-wassat?) to get some man's attention then its a problem. I am a petite but curvy...and i've been described as thick before (because of the curvy aspects) but I've also seen a broad spectrum of what men consider to be thick. And from that spectrum I wouldn't place myself in that category. LOL. I think a lot of these women who are doing the most and trying to have the OMG breasts and ass are gonna be real sad when they get to be about...let's say 45 and all that just starts to droop, sag and hang.
I remember being in junior high and I wasn't at all curvy (small breasts...no hips/ass yet...lol) and the girls that got the most attention from guys were the ones that had the huge asses and big breasts. And I often see those chicks now...at all of 29 years old...and it has gotten away from them in a serious manner and they look unhealthy and older than my mama. But I digress. To each his own. I respect people's preferences because we are all entitled to them. Just be comfie with who you are and what you have and you'll be good.
I agree with what a lot of people have already said. I'm so glad you made this post. People need to keep it real with themselves no matter what size they are. Skinny doesn't always = fit/in better shape and thick doesn't always =sexier. Some people are just a cupcake away! There was something in the news not too long ago about a woman who DIED during a procedure in which she was attempting to get butt implants. It's just not that serious. But some women feel like that's what they have to do to get a man's attention. The thing that cracks me up is when I look at the men that are glorifying this image. Most of the rappers look like...Anyway, I'm tall & slim and happy with what God gave me. :D There is more than one shape that defines beauty and we all need to embrace what we naturally have!
Women do go harder with clothes on. As for me I'm also an a$$ man. A cups will do. I think I just love women!
I just see it as personal preference... of course, when I was younger, I was mostly about the round butt and big breasts. Now, as I get older, it just comes down to the total person, not just the physical.
That saying, I agree with what someone said earlier about the word "thick" being misused. Mia Bryles (the lady in the "Dem Jeans" video by Chingy) is thick. Monique, even with weight loss, aint thick. And sometimes I feel the internet could have been the worst invention for black folks lol. The pics you see of a lot of these folks in their avatars, profile, etc just makes me smh lol
LOVE this post.
Good piece, sir, and I'm not just saying that since I'm on the slender girls. When I was in the college in the South, the guys would fall over themselves our these phat asses. But they were sloppy! I couldn't understand it. I'm a runner so I have a tight ass, and I felt a lil' jealous cause I couldn't make mine clap. :-/
Glad I let that go.
This post is beyond tabernacle. you get the ChuuuCh Tabernacle Synagogue Mosque and PLANETARIUM (Scientology, lololol) for that one!
Take it from someone who dated a chick with possibly a top 5 dead or alive phatty (and wasn't fat), and I can say that ever since her, ass has become relative. You can appreciate a nice petite body the same way that you cna a phatty, it's all in the packaging.
True story there's a lot of women out here with bangin bodies that can't do anything with them! I also agree that just right is just as good if not better than the veluptous woman. I'm a man thats into well and evenly proportioned women.
You also have to think about the future and where all that size will go. Upkeep is huge!
Good shyt Roo nikka!
i. que:
"the fact that she can stick her nipples inside her belly button and/or her ass is as craterous as the moon is exposed"
-dawg you are crazy. but this is sometimes how i feel.
DJ:
"I feel that this whole "bootylicious" movement has done the same thing to female psyches as the model/anorexic movement."
-man it has gone soooo far over board its not even funny.
Ms. Sylaneous:
"Now these women running around with booty-do and super flappy arms and legs... The ones who have to lift their chins to see their necks... The ones who's bodies look like skin draped over rice crispies and all pitted/dented- those are the heffas who give US a bad name!"
- yeah those women get the serious side eye from me. let's call a spade a spade. overweight is overweight. eff being politically correct.
Jubi:
"Everyone has their preferences, so its whatever to me."
- thats the point i was trying to make on my facebook page about this subject. like if someone made a post about how slim dudes aren't what's up, i wouldn't in the least bit offended.
"You don't have to be totally naked or have on less than a yard of clothing to be sexy."
- man these words are so true. leaving something to the imagination is what's really sexy.
Reecie:
"And now you got Body Magic squishing all the stomach fat in to create the hourglass facade. If you have a big gut with a big chest and big booty--its not an hourglass, thats just a circle. And can be from size 6-26."
- body magic? what the hell! is that like a girdle? lol at a circle.
Travelin:
"they were mentioning that Beyonce was outed for having a butt pad on."
- so she's really not that bootylicious huh?
Milan:
"And I often see those chicks now...at all of 29 years old...and it has gotten away from them in a serious manner and they look unhealthy and older than my mama."
- case in point my high school reunion mixer this year. i was like damn what the hell happened to you.
Angie: I heard about that woman who died from the butt implant procedure. Just sad. I personally would never get elective surgery. I'm happy with the way God made the way I am and I'm happy with that.
Patrick:
"The pics you see of a lot of these folks in their avatars, profile, etc just makes me smh lol"
- and then they have a username like prettydyme23 or sexythickness smh
Reina:
Ass clapping should be reserved for strippers so you're good. :-)
Streetz:
"ass has become relative. You can appreciate a nice petite body the same way that you cna a phatty, it's all in the packaging."
- This is what a lot of people don't understand.
"True story there's a lot of women out here with bangin bodies that can't do anything with them!"
- I have a story that would go so well with this. lol
@ Tunde you don't know son... you don't know... hahahaha
For the sake of not ethering real life I'm keepin my mouth shut
Streetz:
yeah plaxico'ing yourself is not what's up. lol
I’m so glad you wrote this post!
“All you really need is a mouthful” made me burst out in laughter. I am slim and have been the majority of my life and I am just fine with that. After the kids and age kicks in I’m sure my (future) husband will appreciate it too..lol. Growing up I had to become one with being a member of the itty bitty committee. All of my friends had chi-chis (breast) and butts bigger than mine. I waited and waited, waited and continued waiting until I realized that was not in God’s blueprint for me. Took me a while to accept but I did.
This summer I worked out every day and when I told my friend his instant reaction was “You’ll never get thick like that!”…wth…I was shocked and confused by the response and he got a serious *side eye* He was more concerned with appearance than health. I feel that this is a general feeling amongst our generation. Think about it…Media/ Entertainers have a huge impact on society. If “Tip Drills” (Nelly) are what is considered golden then that is what will be idolized. I think the ‘thick’ movement has gotten out of control. No matter how much working out or eating some will never be thin and others will never be thick. Butt implants, breast implants, etc are ridiculous. Being comfortable and having confidence in you equals sexy whether male or female. I have come to realize men really want/marry ‘regular’, low-key women that are down for them-thickness is not a requirement. Look at the wives of people in the industry. Most of those girls blend in with the masses.
The fact that the manager of Magic City made that statement says a lot. I’ve gone to Magic City (no homo) and those were attractive girls with all the thickness a man would desire yet the manager doesn’t really appreciate it. Oftentimes men equate thickness to sex or should I say “good” sex well I’ve heard stories and this is seemingly far from the truth…smh…I can only go by what I heard but it seems that Tunde and Streetz are in agreement with this as well.
Everybody isn’t going to like thick and everyone won’t like thin and that is fine, to each its own. Whatever you decide I hope the reason you choose is deeper than what meets the eye.
Good Job Tun!
As a new reader to your blog, I must say that this post is a great introduction. I know a lot men that use to rave about wanting something that they can "grip". However, now these men are looking beyond the behind. There are a lot of other features that should attract men to women. I agree with you,petite ladies should also be represented. :)
Now as a woman that is not thick...ass or no ass..If you like me for me, then we're good. Now if the ass is what strung you along, we might have some problems later on. In all...a woman is a package..and an ass is only one part of that package..
Great Post..
Ms. Lotus
"Oftentimes men equate thickness to sex or should I say “good” sex well I’ve heard stories and this is seemingly far from the truth…smh…I can only go by what I heard but it seems that Tunde and Streetz are in agreement with this as well."
-yeah i think we're in agreement. i'll say this. you can't equate how good a woman will be in bed due to her body type. not to throw shots at anyone but i've found that most stereotypes don't hold true. you know the ones. lol
Ms. Lotus:
first welcome. kick off your shoes and make yourself at home. check out some other posts if you like this one :-)
"I know a lot men that use to rave about wanting something that they can "grip"."
- my question is what are you really trying to "grip" on. lol
Wody...it couldn't have been said better. I agree with you on more than one plane... But most important, we find that most women look better with clothes on than without. Shameful as it is, but at the same rate very true. So amped by pop culture to boast just as you said. I could sit here and reiterate everything you said simply because I agree with it all. Just like juvie said..."hoe could make a nigga think she a queen...standin there smellin like potpourri, prolly stank in them jeans" which simply means, ladies lose the glamorous facades and be EXACTLY who you are. Woman dog men so much for being demeaning and just flat out sour, but the reality, ppl only do what you allow them to do, and facades allow for a lot of disruption...good post Tun...
Man...im so glad u posted this. I really needed to read this post. Cuz God knows this thick thing has gone too far. I wish there was a way that this post can be read by EVERYONE. I am not thick by any means. im 5'5" 135 lbs wit 34 DD boobies. I got a relatively small waist a cute lil butt. Its not big at all but its not too small or flat. i like it. But basically, i was tired of these "thick" females callin me skinny like im sick or somethin! Had me feelin bad cuz i wasnt thick. It aint even that serious! Why cant ppl just be exactly how God made them to be? Why cant ppl just understand that everyone is not gonna be the same size and nobody is either better or worse than the next person?
I do believe that men and the media play a major role. They make it seem as if a girls butt is not a certain size or if her breasts are too small that she's automatically a negative. Thats eff'd up. And although i have big breasts (which, btw...my nipples ARE NOT acquainted with my belly button lol) I dont try to flaunt them all over the place, so i dont need anybody talkin bout "what they gon look like when im older" i dont give a damn, bc this is exactly what God wanted me to look like. If we all can just be more humble about our body parts and stop tryna put others down...things would be so much better. i like when reecie said: "lets be real some people claiming "thick" are only doing so to avoid the truth and guys have gassed them up for it." Its true.
I appreciate everyones comments, and it actually made me feel better about myself and my body. So Tunde, thanx!
Alex:
"But most important, we find that most women look better with clothes on than without."
- this could have been a blog post in itself right here. really people in general but since i'm a straight man i really don't care what men look like without clothes on.
Reika:
i'm glad i could write something that you could appreciate. ;-) as long as you are comfortable with who you are that's all that matters. i meant that to be the underlying theme to this post.
"I do believe that men and the media play a major role."
- see i don't think that men play that big of a role. i really believe that media should take the majority of the blame. men are really mindless followers. they see what's on television and in music videos and they want the woman they are with to look like such (even though they might not be in the best physical condition themselves). its a sad situation because like i said then women feel the need to compete with some chick who they see on television (and these chicks often look completely different from what they normally look like).
FINALLY!!!
Everyone pretty much said the gist.
So many people misuse the word "thick." Lets just be real for a sec. Most people use it(and I admit I have) to avoid using the word fat. Especially when we are describing ourselves or our friends.
As for me, I will never be skinny and I dont want to be. Anything below a size 8, I look sick and that aint cute at all. I'm content with a 30' waste and 44' hips. And I think that's what it eventually should comes down too. If you are confident in yourself, someone will see it as some reflection of your personality.(it might not be who you want but someone will) If not "DuEcEs!"
I do agree, people look better with aleast a lil somethin on. =)
Ni_Ti:
see you are what i would consider "thick" you have a good proportion and you are "tight" with yours. :-)
"If you are confident in yourself, someone will see it as some reflection of your personality."
- confidence can go a looonnnnggg way. this i know.
Great post!!! I agree with you. It's not ALL about the ass. & I'm diggin that quote...it's real...because 2 out of 3 isn't a raw deal.
I enjoyed your post. I'm definitely going to subscribe.
JSin:
glad you like the post. yeah i had to leave that quote. for some reason it spoke to me. lol
WOW!!!!! How about as long as she is healthy that’s all that matters, NOT her size. WOW!!!!!! I totally disagree...and no its not because I have a big butt. I use to have a big chest and for health reasons I got them reduced. Needless to say the small can get big and the big can get small but the face and person for the most part (unless something happens) will not change. I have to say Tunde, you being not the norm, really tall and very slender then most how you would feel if I was to write about very slender men and how its overrated. But hey it’s your blog J
Terez:
it's your prerogative to disagree. this blog is simply my opinion. i can understand how you might feel slighted after reading this post but you have to understand people have certain preferences and tastes.
this post was based on the twitter trending topic #playedout. i feel that's one thing that is played out.
" you being not the norm, really tall and very slender then most how you would feel if I was to write about very slender men and how its overrated."
- i promise you that if you were to write such a blog post it would be no sweat off my back. trust for every woman who doesn't want a tall, slender man there are five that do. also, i've never heard a woman say i'm looking for a short guy or he's too tall. as far as the slender part, not everyone is going to like my physical characteristics and i'm so cool with that. i think you should be as well.
either way looks matter, body type matters and anyone (including you) who says it doesn't is delusional. check out a more recent blog post on the topic:
http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/2009/12/ugly-truth.html
wow! i haven't been on your blog in a long time. Great post!
@Prissy:glad you decided to make it back. don't be a stranger. ;-)
So I've been reading all these comments and decided I have to disagree, I don't think big booty lust has gone to far.First off that is what most women are shaped liked, a little heavy- sure theres those skinny girls out there who all want to stand up and applaud your comments, but right now in this day and age of mass media's idea of beauty (model skinny and pale)its not the time to start hating on the big booty girls, dimples and all. As a young brown (and big booty) women who grew up around caucasion people I never valued my shape, I was ashamed of my curves-the males in my community didn't value big round booties. If you had a flat ass, were a size 4 or something, and of course looked like a white magazine cover model you were alluring. So when I went off to college in another state I came to the most wonderful realization that a a big bubble booty was actually something men desired- so I thank all those big booty judy loving brothers out there-you just keep on loving and appreciating what gives you joy(!!)because us big booty women are facing a mainstream culture that never will champion our curvy womanly bodies.
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